My Girlfriend the Cat Burglar
by Akela Victoire
Summary: Noah accompanies his girlfriend Izzy on one of her many burglaries to steal a valuable artifact from a museum. Beyond all the danger and heightened adrenaline levels, perhaps having a professional cat burglar as a girlfriend isn't so bad after all... Created for Crack & Fanon Week 2012.


This was created for Crack and Fanon week and a copy of this is on my deviantArt account. I hope you like it, considering it was written on short notice in less than a day...

* * *

Sometimes you just have to wonder why certain things happen. More importantly, why these things seemed to happen to _me._

I guess these things would tend to happen when you are friends with- no, _dating_ a crazy nut like Izzy. After all, no matter how much you beg, plead and _SCREAM _and believe me, I have!)_, _she will find a way to drag you into her escapades (sometimes literally).

"Okay Noah-boa. We're almost in."

We were standing on the roof of some fancy jewellery store, about to commit the biggest heist of Izzy's career.

You heard that right. The insane, yet intelligent redhead that is my girlfriend was in the middle of a major burglary. Yep, she became a career criminal, a thief. Yet I still hung around her.

I guess this love thing really does make people do crazy, stupid things…

"Aha! Got it!" Izzy cheered silently as she removed a section of the roof.

"Izzy, are you _sure_ you want to do this?" I asked, letting the hesitancy I felt show.

"If I were, would I have come here tonight- and with you in tow no less? _Trust me_ Noah, we'll be fine. And after this, we'll be set for life!" She cackled before jumping in.

Muttering a silent prayer, I followed.

The museum looked like one of those high-end, fancy ones you see in the movies- the ones that have all the lasers and fancy security systems to protect all their valuable stuff.

"It's in the left wing of this place. Noah-boa, check the map please?" She asked.

I flicked on my PDA. "Yep, you're right, babe. And we're not too far from-" I was cut off by a long, sweet kiss.

"Kissing is _so_ much more fun while you're on an adrenaline high from a crime…" She giggled sweetly, almost as if she weren't a major nutjob…

As we made progress, she started getting tools out of what seemed to be a bag she must have stolen from Hermione Granger, since it seemed bottomless.

_What?_ I don't just read about Shakespeare and Neuroscience you know. Well perhaps I haven't given that impression, but I _do_ know how to have fun.

When I feel like it.

"We're heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee ee…" Izzy squealed.

Adrenaline began to flow through my own body when I set my gaze of my girlfriend's target for the night.

Over the course of history people sure did love their gold, jewels and other expensive stuff. Wars were fought over it, relationships forever shattered, goodwill gone to the winds as greed took over people's bodies…

And one of the most valuable objects in history that stood at the centre of many such conflicts sat right in front of us on a pedestal, encased in a long, thick glass case and protected by one security system that would probably rival the Mona Lisa's.

_The Sceptre of Siam._

"Beautiful, isn't it…" Izzy said dreamily.

The sceptre was made of gold with a circle at the top with a ruby shaped like a sun in the middle. Around the edges of the circle and down the sides of the staff, rubies were embedded as well, glistening under the overhead light.

"Yeah, sure it is. Is it really worth risking our freedom and possibly our _lives_ for?" I don't much fancy the possibility of living in a Canadian prison for any amount of time. I might have brains, but brains don't always help you in prison…

"Of course, sweetie! What's life without a little risk?" She kissed me again before going in.

Izzy's… _flexibilities_ had to be admired, both in this case and… _others, _getting past the lasers protecting the case.

Working her own small, but powerful glasscutter, she quickly worked through the glass and snatched up the sceptre.

"We did it!" She held the sceptre into the air in triumph.

"Great job, Iz." I kissed her. "Now can we _please _get out of here before the RCMP shows up?"

"Gladly."

She began to run and I followed, but I should have known we wouldn't get out of this Scott free.

Police were waiting for us.

"Dammit! Izzy, I hope you have a plan!" I exclaimed.

"Of course! Here, take this!"

My eyes widened as I caught the gun she threw me.

"Use it if you want to live!" She exclaimed as she put the Sceptre in the special case she had brought along for it.

"_Stop! Police!" _

"BITCH, PLEASE!" Izzy roared as she handled her… _flamethrower? _Seriously?

"Stay back!" I fired off a few shots at the police and they fired back. It's a good thing Izzy taught me a thing or two about reflexes myself or I'd have been Swiss cheese…

Izzy roared in fury as she swept the flamethrower back and forth, separating us and them with a wall of bright flames.

"Someone, get a fire extinguisher or something, quickly!" I heard someone on the other side call out.

"Ain't gonna work…" Izzy giggled. "I put something in the fuel that isn't gonna make it so easy to put out. I knew there was a reason I loved Chemistry in school, hehehe…"

Fucking crazy, but a real genius. I guess that's how I like my women I suppose.

"In the car, in the car!" I heard other sirens in the distance and I had reached our car outside first.

Running with a speed comparable to the Flash, she jumped in behind me and strapped in.

As the police began to approach the car, I kissed her again before I sped off at a speed she would probably have if she were the one driving.

Seeing the look on Izzy's face as she held the case containing the Sceptre of Siam, I wondered to myself if having a professional cat burglar as a girlfriend was so bad after all.


End file.
